Woman Versus Machine
by Habeous Corpus
Summary: Sequel to Man versus Machine. the reason why it's separate is because it was written as a romance. Jane retakes the course with Lisbon as his subject, and some things come up... Rated t just in case!


**A/N- Okay, here we go. Jisbon, first time. *squirms a bit* If this sucks badly, I hereby blame Jolly Rancher, because they put me up to it! (Just kidding, JR. :P Thanks for the encouragement!) If you didn't read ****Man Versus Machine****, I suggest you do so. (The link should be on my profile!)**

**Woman Versus Machine**

Jane was lying on his couch, staring at the ceiling. If looks could kill, the ceiling would have keeled over a while ago. A week after the mandatory training session, he received an email saying that he had failed, and he needed to retake the course. In addition, Lisbon, being his boss, had to instruct Jane. (When she had found out, Jane was a very lucky man. Her gun was in her desk, locked away tight.) What made the situation worse is the fact that the retake was scheduled for today, of all days. The team had pulled a hard case, and they received their reward in the form of a day off. _Not me,_ he thought. _I have to learn how to use a machine to do something that comes second nature to me. Oh, the irony… _At that moment, Lisbon came in and threw her belongings on her desk.

"Come on, Jane, let's get this over with."

"Not yet."

"What? I swear to God…" she was interrupted by Jane producing an apple. "Very funny; apples for the teacher." Her only reply was a lovely smile. She started to feel color rise to her cheeks, so she turned quickly and headed to interrogation room where the lesson would take place.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Reviewing all the facts from the workshop took only an hour. It turns out, Jane was paying attention, and his eidetic memory retained all the necessary information. After reviewing came the part that Lisbon dreaded: hands-on training. She sighed and gritted her teeth. "All right, let's put that knowledge to use, shall we?" Jane just flashed another dazzling grin her way. Lisbon was glad that she wasn't hooked up to the lie detector yet, because it would have recorded a large spike in pulse and body temperature. "I'll hook myself up, thank you very much." Jane seated himself in front of a laptop and started to set up the polygraph. He waited patiently until it looked like she was ready.

"Are you ready, miss?" Miss? Where the hell did that come from?

"Yes, I'm ready," she replied, shooting him a murderous glance.

"All right. State your name."

"Theresa Lisbon."

"Occupation."

"Senior Agent, CBI. Head of the Serious Crimes team."

"Have you ever gotten a parking ticket?" _Hmmm… Why did he blow through the control questions so quickly, _she thought. The thought of things to come unnerved her.

"I'll need your answer, Senior Agent Lisbon." Lisbon looked at Jane, confused by the sudden formality. Usually, he just called her _woman _or _Lisbon_. The hard mask on his face made her blood run cold. She had never seen it before.

"Ah… N-no," She managed to stammer out. She was trying to relax when she realized that Jane was just following her directions. The examiner was _supposed_ to play mind games with the person submitting to the polygraph. _Damn, remind me not to let him get his hands on this anytime soon. He's down right dangerous!_

"Have you ever seriously considered murdering someone?"

"Oh, yeah. Namely you," she replied, much more relaxed, knowing the hard mask was just a façade. A small gleam appeared in Jane's eye, and she knew that he was trying hard not to smile or laugh.

"Have you ever had extramarital affairs?"

"Yes, but I'm not an adulteress." She wasn't too keen on revealing that piece of information to him, but she didn't see any way out.

Jane tapped a few keys on the keyboard of the laptop displaying the readings, and then continued. "Are you currently in a romantic relationship?"

"No." _Oh, crap. I know where this is going._

"Are you in love with anyone?" Now that was a curveball. She felt herself getting flustered.

"No." Jane raised his eyebrow at her, and she knew that he had caught her. Then she remembered what the instructor had said about the machine: it detected physiological responses. "I am your boss. Why are you asking me personal questions?" She demanded, trying to hide her embarrassment with anger.

"I apologize. Next question: Are you in love with me?" _From bad to worse,_ she thought.

"What do you think?" _Stay calm, girl…_

"I think that I'm just messing with you, and we're done here." Jane gave her a mischievous smile.

"But we didn't do the relevant question set!" Lisbon protested.

"Ah, but we did. You weren't paying attention," Jane said, the smile never leaving his face. _Oh boy. He was trying to catch me in confessing that I'm in love with him! I hope that he didn't succeed… _"Here, let me help you out of that blood pressure cuff." He leaned in very closely, and Lisbon could almost feel his breath on her arm. Shivers ran down her spine.

"Thanks, Jane. I got it."

"All right." He leaned even closer. She was about to tell him to back off when he kissed her. That thought was gone from her mind in a split second; she didn't want him to back off. He withdrew almost reluctantly and looked into her eyes. "I know the looking in your eyes thing is cliché, but they are the loveliest emerald."

"Yeah, many people have told me that."

"Anyway, I think this lesson is over. Did I pass?"

"Well…"

"Lisbon! Do you want to do this again?" A small voice in the back of her head instantly said, "Yes! Of course I do!"

Instead, she just shook her head. "You did wonderfully, Patrick." Jane's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just that you never call me Patrick."

"Well, there's a first for everything." He just smiled and started to pack up.

"I'll take care of this; you go enjoy the rest of your day off." Lisbon smiled back and left.

After she left, Jane stood there in the empty room for a while. He thought of the events that had unfolded, and a few events in his past. He felt conflicted, but strangely calm. Jane took a deep breath and shook his head as if to clear it. He decided to take his own advice and enjoy the rest of his day off.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"**Yoinks!" to quote House Calls. I had to write that one in pieces; I'm not a big romancer. Be brutal, please. :P **


End file.
